Jan. 28, 2026
Would You Give $100K to Your Ex’s New Family?
Send us a text A woman finds out she’s still the beneficiary on her ex-husband’s life insurance policy, years after their divorce. He’s since remarried and had a child. When he passes away unexpectedly, she’s notified she’ll receive $100,000. Now the new wife is asking for the money… for their child. In this episode, Jessica and Brandon break down the emotional, financial, and legal sides of this viral dilemma. You’ll hear: Why updating your beneficiaries is crucialWhether it’s morally wrong ...
A woman finds out she’s still the beneficiary on her ex-husband’s life insurance policy, years after their divorce. He’s since remarried and had a child. When he passes away unexpectedly, she’s notified she’ll receive $100,000. Now the new wife is asking for the money… for their child.
In this episode, Jessica and Brandon break down the emotional, financial, and legal sides of this viral dilemma.
You’ll hear:
- Why updating your beneficiaries is crucial
- Whether it’s morally wrong to keep the money
- How to support a child financially without giving cash to an ex’s new spouse
For anyone navigating life after divorce, blended families, or financial planning, this is one you don’t want to miss.
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Money, relationships, and the mindset to master both. Hosted by financial advisor Brandon and his wife Jessica, The Sugar Daddy Podcast breaks down how to build wealth, unpack old money beliefs, and have real conversations about love and finances. Their mission? To help couples and individuals grow rich in every sense of the word: emotionally, relationally and fina...
Chapters
00:00 - The Viral Scenario Read-Aloud
01:10 - Ethics Of Keeping The Payout
02:45 - Options To Support The Child
04:30 - Legal Realities Of Beneficiaries
05:25 - Audience Reactions Invited
06:30 - Wrap And Off-Mic Banter
Transcript
WEBVTT
00:00:06.559 --> 00:00:12.160
So I saw two things on social media that I want to run by you, and I want to see what you would say.
00:00:12.480 --> 00:00:14.240
Now, preface this, I I don't know exactly.
00:00:14.320 --> 00:00:15.519
I have no idea what she's about to say.
00:00:15.599 --> 00:00:19.280
So this is gonna be my honest take right away.
00:00:19.679 --> 00:00:19.920
All right.
00:00:20.000 --> 00:00:21.600
So I'm gonna read this to you, okay?
00:00:21.839 --> 00:00:22.160
All right.
00:00:22.320 --> 00:00:24.879
My ex and I have been divorced for a few years.
00:00:25.039 --> 00:00:28.559
We were married for seven years total and never had children.
00:00:28.800 --> 00:00:33.119
He remarried after we separated and had a child with his new wife.
00:00:33.359 --> 00:00:43.039
He recently passed away unexpectedly, and I received notice that I will be that I am still the beneficiary on his life insurance policy for$100,000.
00:00:43.679 --> 00:00:48.960
His wife found out and is asking me for the money because she has a child with him.
00:00:49.119 --> 00:00:53.359
It's not my responsibility to keep his policy beneficiaries updated.
00:00:53.600 --> 00:00:54.640
He should have done that.
00:00:54.880 --> 00:01:00.240
Am I the asshole for wanting to keep the money and not give it to his new wife and child?
00:01:00.479 --> 00:01:05.840
And what options do I have to contribute to his child but not his wife?
00:01:09.040 --> 00:01:10.400
What you gotta say?
00:01:10.640 --> 00:01:29.439
First and foremost, that's one of the reasons why I said you gotta do an annual checking of your beneficiaries to make sure that everything is up to date because especially the age that we're at, we are in the season of unfortunately we have friends that are getting married, getting remarried, and you need to make sure all that stuff is up to date and it's the way that you want it to be.
00:01:29.680 --> 00:01:29.920
Yeah.
00:01:30.000 --> 00:01:33.920
Uh hello, you got a divorce and you didn't update your beneficiaries.
00:01:34.239 --> 00:01:35.599
Yeah, that's yeah.
00:01:35.840 --> 00:01:38.799
I mean, and I I've seen that scenario happen one time.
00:01:39.040 --> 00:01:39.680
Yep.
00:01:40.079 --> 00:01:44.640
Um now, is that person is that person the asshole?
00:01:45.680 --> 00:01:47.439
See, like what should she do?
00:01:47.599 --> 00:01:48.719
Should she get the money?
00:01:49.200 --> 00:01:57.760
So the thing for me is that since there is a child involved here, that's to me is the the make or the the make or break factor.
00:01:58.079 --> 00:02:12.879
Reason being is that what I'm saying, regardless of what happened between the woman who received the money, her ex-husband, and her ex-husband's current spouse, there's still a kid involved here that needs to be taken care of.
00:02:13.120 --> 00:02:24.000
So if that money would be needed to take care of that child, a hard for me, that'd be hard to take away from an innocent child that has nothing to do with any dynamics of what other relationship might be.
00:02:24.319 --> 00:02:29.520
Because, for example, like maybe you're, you know, maybe the husband cheated on her with this you know new spouse, whatever.
00:02:29.759 --> 00:02:31.599
Yeah, I don't that was not detailed.
00:02:34.319 --> 00:02:37.520
I have a hard time not giving money to the kid.
00:02:37.680 --> 00:02:49.680
Now, if she wants to bypass giving the wife money to use because for whatever reason, maybe there's something that had gone on there, she literally could just put the money in the 529 plan for the kid.
00:02:49.919 --> 00:02:50.240
Okay.
00:02:50.879 --> 00:02:54.400
And that would limit, or she well, and that would limit.
00:02:54.479 --> 00:02:55.360
Well, I take it back.
00:02:55.439 --> 00:03:01.280
So if you put in the 529 plan, you still can can't pull it out, but then you're penalized on it.
00:03:02.639 --> 00:03:12.560
So if she wanted to specifically give the money to the kid to make sure that, you know, it's used for the child, there are ways to do that.
00:03:12.879 --> 00:03:19.680
But I would assume that it's like current living expenses and not future college education expenses.
00:03:20.000 --> 00:03:20.240
Yeah.
00:03:20.319 --> 00:03:22.319
So like it's tricky.
00:03:22.479 --> 00:03:28.080
If yeah, it's if it's current living expenses, that's just gonna it's gonna be a headache for you or over a hundred thousand dollars.
00:03:28.319 --> 00:03:31.599
Like I mean, you know me.
00:03:31.759 --> 00:03:39.360
If I was newly married to somebody who was previously married to somebody else, I'm gonna say, have you updated your beneficiaries?
00:03:39.520 --> 00:03:39.919
Yeah.
00:03:40.159 --> 00:03:41.759
But like people don't do that.
00:03:42.000 --> 00:03:43.120
No, they don't.
00:03:43.360 --> 00:03:49.360
And the thing is, too, is that that that's not on that's not on whoever put the life insurance policy in place.
00:03:49.599 --> 00:03:51.199
No, that's on whoever owns the policy.
00:03:51.439 --> 00:03:52.960
Yeah, that's on the person who owns the policy.
00:03:53.039 --> 00:03:59.840
They need to update it, they need to reach to reach out to the person because the person who put the policy in place may not even be, you know, in finance anymore.
00:03:59.919 --> 00:04:00.879
They might not even be alive.
00:04:01.120 --> 00:04:01.280
Right.
00:04:01.439 --> 00:04:02.000
Oh my god.
00:04:02.159 --> 00:04:06.560
But you need to make sure that your policy is updated and the correct beneficiaries on there.
00:04:06.800 --> 00:04:08.479
Sounds like a terrible situation.
00:04:08.719 --> 00:04:12.240
Like I said, for me at the end of the day, if the money's for a kid, I'd have a hard time keeping it.
00:04:12.400 --> 00:04:15.039
Now, for example, if there wasn't a kid.
00:04:15.280 --> 00:04:16.399
Oh, my money.
00:04:16.720 --> 00:04:16.959
Okay.
00:04:17.040 --> 00:04:19.199
So if there I knew I knew you were gonna say that.
00:04:19.360 --> 00:04:25.439
So if there wasn't a kid, then it's like too bad, so sad, he should have updated the beneficiaries.
00:04:25.600 --> 00:04:31.600
But because there's a kid, you're like, Yeah, no, do the right thing and make sure that the kid gets the money.
00:04:32.160 --> 00:04:32.800
No kid.
00:04:33.680 --> 00:04:34.720
No kid, no money.
00:04:35.519 --> 00:04:36.399
Like, you have the wrong number.
00:04:36.560 --> 00:04:38.240
You wouldn't you try to call me.
00:04:38.560 --> 00:04:52.959
Well, I'm I was also thinking when I read this, because like legally, how would the new wife know that the insurance went to She could only assume she wouldn't because you wouldn't actually legally be able to find that out, right?
00:04:53.279 --> 00:05:05.839
No, because so like in that scenario, if the current wife knew there was a life insurance policy and then she calls in about it, basically what she's gonna get is that you're not named as a beneficiary, we cannot give you any information.
00:05:06.079 --> 00:05:06.879
And you've had to do that.
00:05:07.120 --> 00:05:07.759
Yes, yeah.
00:05:07.920 --> 00:05:13.120
That's and it wasn't yeah, it wasn't a policy I put in place, it was like one that I kind of inherited from somebody else.
00:05:13.279 --> 00:05:21.600
But yeah, in that scenario, but she could probably assume that his ex-wife is probably the one that's on the policy, and that's where you kind of go from there.
00:05:21.680 --> 00:05:25.360
But legally, she wouldn't be she wouldn't be afforded any information.
00:05:25.600 --> 00:05:26.000
Yeah.
00:05:26.240 --> 00:05:28.879
Uh we would love to hear from you guys about this.
00:05:29.040 --> 00:05:30.319
What do you think?
00:05:31.279 --> 00:05:35.040
What would you do if this was a scenario that you were in?
00:05:35.199 --> 00:05:40.639
Would you keep the money or would you make sure that the money somehow goes to that child?
00:05:41.040 --> 00:05:45.759
Definitely let us know, comment, slide in our DMs, send us an email.
00:05:45.920 --> 00:05:47.360
We want to hear from you.
00:05:48.720 --> 00:05:50.399
All right, I had one more.
00:05:51.839 --> 00:05:53.199
Let me just keep recording.
00:05:53.519 --> 00:05:54.480
Yeah, it might just be easier.
00:05:54.800 --> 00:05:54.959
Okay.
00:05:55.439 --> 00:05:56.800
And then you can splice it.
00:05:56.959 --> 00:05:58.240
Oh, where was it?
00:06:02.639 --> 00:06:04.720
I thought I took a screenshot.
00:07:04.240 --> 00:07:06.560
If we're not gonna do it, I need to eat something.
00:07:07.279 --> 00:07:15.120
No, it's I literally why?
00:07:16.160 --> 00:07:23.439
I've I've eaten, but I ate before you got back, so I've I ate like four and a half hours ago.
00:07:23.920 --> 00:07:24.240
Okay.
00:07:29.199 --> 00:07:33.040
Okay, well I'll try to find it and then we can just keep the setup like this.
00:07:34.160 --> 00:07:35.279
And I swear it.
00:07:42.480 --> 00:07:44.000
Alright, I'm just gonna stop a second.
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