Sept. 10, 2025

105: Lazy Investing with Chloé Daniels

105: Lazy Investing with Chloé Daniels
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Season 4

Feel like investing is only for finance bros and math nerds? You’re not alone and this episode is about to change that.

We’re joined by Chloé Daniels, the powerhouse behind Clobare Money, who’s helped over 300,000 people ditch financial fear and start investing the lazy way. Chloe’s journey is all-too-relatable: from believing “girls are bad with money” to loaning an ex $50K, she’s made the mistakes so you don’t have to.

She breaks down investing in a way that actually makes sense—no jargon, no shame. You’ll learn how to:
• Automate your investments with zero stress
• Use tools like robo-advisors or target date funds
• Stop overcomplicating wealth-building (seriously, it’s easier than you think)
• Rewire old money beliefs holding you back

Plus, Chloé gets real about prenups, financial red flags in relationships, and why loving someone doesn’t mean going broke for them.

If you’ve ever thought, “I want to invest but have no idea where to start,” this is your starting line. Hit play and get ready to feel empowered, not overwhelmed.

Watch this episode in video form on YouTube

To apply to be a guest on the show

You can email us at: thesugardaddypodcast@gmail.com

Be sure to connect with us on socials @thesugardaddypodcast we are most active on Instagram

Learn more about Brandon and schedule a free 30-minute introductory call with him 

Please remember to subscribe, rate, and review.

Notes from the show:

Clo Bare Money Coach

Enroll in The Lazy Investor's Course

Follow Clo Bare Money Coach on TikTok

Follow Clo Bare Money Coach on Instagram

Follow Chloé Daniels on X

Subscribe on YouTube

Follow Chloe on LinkedIn

Chapters

00:00 - Introduction to Lazy Investing

08:36 - Chloe's Early Money Memories

17:51 - Rock Bottom to Financial Education

34:22 - Planning for Children and Marriage

43:57 - Lazy Investing Explained

52:00 - Entrepreneurship and Business Advice

58:31 - Money and Relationships

01:00:07 - Final Thoughts and Conclusion

Transcript
WEBVTT

00:00:00.360 --> 00:00:08.970
In today's episode we have special guest Chloe Daniels from Clobear Money and she is going to talk to us about the lazy way to invest.

00:00:08.970 --> 00:00:13.070
We are not talking about the unrealistic Wolf of Wall Street stuff.

00:00:13.070 --> 00:00:21.147
We are talking about set it and forget it automated investing that anybody can do and we want you to do that.

00:00:29.047 --> 00:00:33.031
So if this is of interest, take a listen today.

00:00:33.031 --> 00:00:37.155
Hey babe, what are we talking about today?

00:00:43.880 --> 00:00:58.121
Today we are talking about women and money one of my favorite topics whoop, whoop and we're going to be talking about how to invest the lazy way, which is even better because I think so many people have the misunderstanding that investing is difficult, and I mean the industry and the jargon and all the things you know.

00:00:58.121 --> 00:00:59.344
It is a little intimidating.

00:00:59.344 --> 00:01:06.884
So we're going to break it down today with our guest, but we're not going to be talking about day trading or any of the crazy Wolf of Wall Street stuff.

00:01:06.884 --> 00:01:10.772
We're going to do it the lazy way with Chloe Daniels.

00:01:10.933 --> 00:01:13.385
Chloe, I'm so excited.

00:01:13.385 --> 00:01:22.935
I feel like I have to give all of your guests or your listeners here a little disclaimer that I just moved this weekend, so my brain is moving a little slow, but we're gonna.

00:01:22.935 --> 00:01:24.722
We're gonna see what we can do, all right.

00:01:25.043 --> 00:01:28.609
Yes, listen, it's all about a fun casual conversation.

00:01:28.609 --> 00:01:30.774
It's going to be fine, not to worry.

00:01:30.774 --> 00:01:40.799
Let's get into your bio, chloe, so that everybody knows who we're talking to, because we know how amazing you are, but we need everybody else to know as well.

00:01:40.819 --> 00:01:53.694
Yeah, chloe Daniels, also known as Chloe Bear Money Coach, has built a community of over 300,000 on TikTok and social media by educating people on how to invest and build wealth the lazy way.

00:01:53.694 --> 00:01:54.695
We're going to get into that.

00:01:54.695 --> 00:02:08.536
Her work has been featured on CNBC, entrepreneur, bloomberg, business Insider and she's been a recent participant at White House influencer briefings for new policies on student debt and other issues her audience is facing.

00:02:08.536 --> 00:02:14.991
She was also awarded 2025 Best Overall Personal Finance Influencer by Bankrate.

00:02:14.991 --> 00:02:15.973
That's a big deal.

00:02:15.973 --> 00:02:27.081
Her ultimate goal is to provide education in a fun, easy-to-understand and accessible way, without the overwhelm, shame and confusion often associated with finances.

00:02:27.081 --> 00:02:31.012
Chloe has worked with thousands of individuals to improve their finances.

00:02:31.012 --> 00:02:40.949
She has also worked with several women's groups, nonprofits and companies such as Snapchat, nationwide Mint, mobile Betterment, clio, capitalize and more.

00:02:40.949 --> 00:02:43.302
Girl, you be out in these streets busy.

00:02:43.663 --> 00:02:49.467
I know I was like man, I'm not going to lie when you said the White House thing, I was like I should make it clear that it wasn't this administration.

00:02:49.467 --> 00:02:54.889
Listen, I got to update my bio.

00:02:56.039 --> 00:02:56.360
Listen.

00:02:56.360 --> 00:02:59.605
I think all of our listeners know where we lie.

00:02:59.786 --> 00:03:01.528
I assumed it Good.

00:03:01.908 --> 00:03:05.675
Yes, I think we're clear, I think we're clear, and if they aren't clear, they are now.

00:03:12.080 --> 00:03:13.044
They are now Welcome to the pod Exactly.

00:03:13.044 --> 00:03:13.526
Oh my gosh, I love that.

00:03:13.526 --> 00:03:15.253
So I mean, obviously we've been followers of your content for a long time.

00:03:15.253 --> 00:03:23.111
I don't even know how I found you, but I instantly was like this is my girl, like from the the dance videos to.

00:03:23.111 --> 00:03:29.105
You know, one of my favorite series that you do is like the money mistakes you made in relationships we're going to have to get into that.

00:03:29.105 --> 00:03:41.020
You just keep it so real and you really just take all the shame and guilt and like that stuffy air that is around the space of finance.

00:03:41.020 --> 00:03:43.846
You just remove all of it and I love your content for that.

00:03:44.060 --> 00:03:45.143
Thank you so much.

00:03:45.143 --> 00:03:52.008
I will like never forget the first time you guys commented, or at least one of the first times you commented on some of my content.

00:03:52.008 --> 00:04:01.004
I think it was like one where I said like I'm daddy or something along those lines and you commented and I was like wait, your handle is sugar like be or be your own sugar daddy or something?

00:04:01.025 --> 00:04:01.205
like that.

00:04:01.205 --> 00:04:02.145
I can't remember your handle.

00:04:02.205 --> 00:04:06.891
It's changed, yeah it was like at the time and I was like oh my gosh, my people.

00:04:06.891 --> 00:04:11.025
So I love the name of your podcast, I love the approach, I love it as well.

00:04:11.025 --> 00:04:15.502
And then we met at FinCon last year and I was like, oh, I like these people a lot, these are chill people.

00:04:15.522 --> 00:04:16.444
Yeah, we try to be.

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We try to take the shame and stigma and all of the the guilt and fear out of the conversation, just like you do.

00:04:21.872 --> 00:04:25.641
So we're in good company here, yeah, so with all of our guests.

00:04:25.641 --> 00:04:36.560
Chloe, we jump in with your first money memory because we think that you know what you remember about money from your early beginnings really can shape how you are with money today.

00:04:36.560 --> 00:04:37.783
So we'd love to hear yours.

00:04:38.004 --> 00:04:38.865
Yeah, it's funny.

00:04:38.865 --> 00:04:41.732
When I had the podcast the Money Bear, that's how it would end every episode.

00:04:41.732 --> 00:04:43.790
So when I saw that I was like oh, that's so cute I love it, money bear.

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That's how I would end every episode.

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So when I saw that, I was like, oh, that's so cute.

00:04:45.812 --> 00:04:52.084
Um, so my very first money memory happened when I was under the age of seven I want to say it was probably probably six or seven.

00:04:52.084 --> 00:04:58.963
Um, but my mom would, or my parents would, give each of us a dollar for allowance every week.

00:04:58.963 --> 00:05:03.571
And I remember getting this dollar and she said, well, you can either spend it or you can save it.

00:05:03.571 --> 00:05:05.894
And I was like, well, why would I want to save it?

00:05:05.894 --> 00:05:07.365
Like what's the purpose of saving it?

00:05:07.365 --> 00:05:11.379
And so I'd go with her to the Kmart every week with my little dollar.

00:05:12.000 --> 00:05:19.769
And the thing I distinctly remember purchasing was at the time there were these little like makeup kits for kids that were like a dollar.

00:05:19.769 --> 00:05:20.451
It was like a pack.

00:05:20.451 --> 00:05:31.788
It had like a little lip gloss, a little eyeliner, a little blush, and it was like like there was no actual color to it.

00:05:31.788 --> 00:05:32.329
It was just like this goop.

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Essentially, that was less than a dollar.

00:05:33.132 --> 00:05:34.738
I bought it and it was like melted and forgotten about within 24 hours.

00:05:34.759 --> 00:05:35.721
And I remember my brothers.

00:05:35.762 --> 00:05:45.788
On the other hand, they were way better about just saving their dollars for something that they really wanted to buy, and they'd buy cool things like remote control cars or robots and things like that.

00:05:45.848 --> 00:05:51.744
And I remember at that time thinking, wow, I guess girls are just bad with money and boys are good with money.

00:05:51.744 --> 00:06:09.565
And I was like seven years old and I did not even question that deeply rooted belief until way later, like in my late twenties, because it was just something that was buried down so deep of like, yeah, and my parents would reinforce that a lot of the times of like, oh, money just burns a hole in Chloe's pocket.

00:06:09.565 --> 00:06:13.648
Oh, your brothers are so good at saving, why can't you and your sister be better at it?

00:06:13.648 --> 00:06:23.588
And so, um, a lot of that belief was just reinforced over the years and because of that I never told myself like, hey, money's a skill you could probably just learn it, you know.

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Because in my idea or my head even though it was not really something I was aware of it was just like no, boys are good with money and girls are bad with money.

00:06:35.144 --> 00:06:36.267
So why would I try to learn?

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Why would I try to go do anything you know.

00:06:37.672 --> 00:06:38.514
All right, real quick.

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I want to speak to the person listening who feels like they can't work with a financial planner yet because they're carrying a lot of debt.

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First of all, I see you and I need you to know you're not broken, you're not behind, you're just in a tough season.

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I created something just for you because I've had people reach out who are serious about changing their money story.

00:06:56.346 --> 00:07:00.307
But the full financial planning package just wasn't the right fit yet.

00:07:00.307 --> 00:07:05.502
So I built a new service through Oak City Financial that's focused completely on debt reduction.

00:07:05.942 --> 00:07:06.927
No fluff, no shame.

00:07:06.927 --> 00:07:13.932
You'll get a one-time planning session, a personalized payoff strategy, your own financial dashboard and monthly coaching.

00:07:13.932 --> 00:07:19.247
If you want extra support while you climb out, it's $300 to get started and $100 a month.

00:07:19.247 --> 00:07:21.653
If you want that ongoing guidance, that's it.

00:07:21.653 --> 00:07:25.620
This is about helping you get unstuck, not making you feel like you failed.

00:07:25.620 --> 00:07:29.250
If this sounds like what you've been needing, go ahead and schedule a call with me.

00:07:29.250 --> 00:07:30.685
The link is in the show notes.

00:07:30.685 --> 00:07:37.764
Let's take the first step together, you and your sister, both youngest.

00:07:38.646 --> 00:07:39.449
So I know.

00:07:39.449 --> 00:07:44.524
So my I'm the oldest daughter and then my sister is the second youngest.

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But we were both spenders.

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We were both.

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We took on that same role, but we were also the only ones who were interested in working as well.

00:07:52.190 --> 00:08:00.067
So, like, I started working when I was nine because I liked money and I wanted to have money, and she started working around the same age as well.

00:08:00.067 --> 00:08:02.509
But, yeah, it took us a while to learn how to keep the money.

00:08:03.079 --> 00:08:03.600
Oh, my gosh.

00:08:03.600 --> 00:08:12.144
Well, and so interesting that instead of saying, oh, they're saving their dollar to get the bigger item, they must just be good with money and I'm just bad with money.

00:08:12.144 --> 00:08:15.144
Instead of no, they're just saving it and I'm spending it.

00:08:15.464 --> 00:08:17.209
Yeah, yeah, that's so interesting.

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I internalized it as.

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Oh, this is my fault, I am just bad.

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Which is such a woman thing to do.

00:08:22.384 --> 00:08:25.632
Right, because it could never be an external factor, could never.

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Never, and so that is, you could rinse and repeat on my whole life.

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See, I'll put this out to the guys, like it's got to be something else it's got to be.

00:08:35.767 --> 00:08:37.129
No, it's not me no accountability no.

00:08:37.169 --> 00:08:39.413
Accountability no None, none for the men.

00:08:45.340 --> 00:08:45.743
So how do we go from?

00:08:45.743 --> 00:08:48.881
And I love that you referenced the Kmart, because you know Only a niche audience will know that one Exactly.

00:08:49.484 --> 00:08:51.509
So you go from Kmart to.

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You're a personal finance expert, you have certifications, you're teaching thousands of people You've I mean you're being invited to the white house like, take us on the journey.

00:09:03.206 --> 00:09:06.232
I mean there's a lot of in between here.

00:09:06.700 --> 00:09:11.230
There's a lot of in between, so, okay, let's see where do I begin.

00:09:11.230 --> 00:09:13.381
So when I was born, no, I'm just kidding.

00:09:13.381 --> 00:09:23.775
So I in my early 20s, I had a lot of student loan debt and I was broke.

00:09:23.775 --> 00:09:29.883
Lot of student loan debt, um, and I was broke.

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So, even though in college I would work sometimes between two to three jobs, um, and take on like 24 semester hour loads, I was trying to graduate early.

00:09:35.961 --> 00:10:06.470
I was trying to do all of the things like I was working harder not necessarily smarter, and I struggled with my mental health so much at that time in my life that I often would do things like just spend every dollar that I had on something that I thought would make me feel better, would make me like like this will be the solution, this will be the thing that gets me out of my funk, this will be the thing that makes me finally feel better, this will be the thing, et cetera, et cetera, and obviously that never worked and it would put me into situations where I'd have panic attacks on how the heck am I going to pay rent?

00:10:06.470 --> 00:10:07.270
How am I going to?

00:10:07.270 --> 00:10:15.288
How am I going to like, keep keep doing this and not have to ask my like, not ask my parents for help?

00:10:15.288 --> 00:10:36.913
I'd never asked my parents for help because that was like a massive no-no, especially as the oldest daughter, and so I would just find myself in this situation over and over again, where I'd have to go sell my clothes to help make ends meet for, you know, paying rent and things along those lines, or paying the mental gymnastics of like, all right, if I write the check today and I put it in a safe deposit box tomorrow, which is the day that it's due, hopefully he won't pick it up till Friday and then the money will be in the account.

00:10:36.913 --> 00:10:44.948
So a lot of that mental gymnastics, and it just again reinforces idea that I'm bad with money, I'm clearly not the person who should be making these decisions.

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I need somebody else to do it for me.

00:10:46.892 --> 00:10:59.061
And so this belief, um, started really, you know, in my early twenties of like, you know what the solution to all of this is just someday, whenever I get married or whenever I find a partner, they're going to be the ones who are going to be good with money.

00:10:59.061 --> 00:10:59.962
Like, let's just hope.

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Let's just hope that they're way better at money than I was.

00:11:02.408 --> 00:11:05.394
Unfortunately, that did not happen.

00:11:05.394 --> 00:11:12.748
So there's a lot, as you said, I have a whole series of some of the bad decisions that I've made because of quote, unquote love.

00:11:14.020 --> 00:11:19.081
But I essentially find myself in situation, over and over again, where I have exes who owe me.

00:11:19.081 --> 00:11:22.451
The most that an ex owes me is $50,000.

00:11:22.451 --> 00:11:31.688
I have many exes that owe me thousands, but, um, I had an ex who this was the right before the like, my rock bottom, I guess you could say.

00:11:31.688 --> 00:11:34.842
Is I the same ex who owes me about 50 grand?

00:11:34.842 --> 00:11:40.293
He would use my credit cards to fund his business and I would let him.

00:11:40.293 --> 00:11:47.610
I'd be like, oh man, look at me, I'm so together that he can use my credit cards to fund his business, which we know as business owners.

00:11:47.610 --> 00:11:52.325
You're not supposed to be doing for any any stretch of the imagination, um.

00:11:52.325 --> 00:12:03.162
So, anyway, I ended up having about $15,000 in credit card debt from him at some point, um, which he did eventually pay off, but it tanked my credit score because we were not able to make the payments.

00:12:03.923 --> 00:12:26.123
And when that relationship ended, uh, it was 2018, where I had finally moved out and I was sitting, uh, I was sitting with the reality of where I was at and it was just like I am in no better of a financial position than I was, and, if anything, I'm in a worse financial position than I was in, you know, five years ago, 10 years ago, and like dumber people than me have figured this stuff out before.

00:12:26.123 --> 00:12:44.990
I cannot keep thinking that the solution to this is someone else, because, time and time again, it's showing me that all these people I'm telling myself to rely on like they're worse with money than I am, and I'm just over here with my blinders on my head in the sand, thinking like, okay, well, I can't do this, but they can do this.

00:12:44.990 --> 00:12:46.696
Let me put this responsibility on then.

00:12:46.696 --> 00:12:48.721
And then I'm ending up in worse and worse situations.

00:12:48.721 --> 00:12:52.671
So, um, I finally was just like you know what, what if I just try?

00:12:52.671 --> 00:12:54.703
What if I just try to figure this stuff out?

00:12:54.703 --> 00:12:59.120
You know, I'm not stupid and dumber people than me have figured this stuff out before.

00:12:59.120 --> 00:13:04.168
That is my life mantra is dumber people than me have figured it out before that in like, let's just try.

00:13:04.168 --> 00:13:06.190
Let's just have the audacity to try.

00:13:06.650 --> 00:13:31.708
Because, as a recovering perfectionist, as somebody who procrastinates until something is perfect, all too often the idea of let me just try and see what happens has become such an important staple in my life, because then you start doing and then you figure it out as you go, whereas if you're just constantly preparing before it's perfect and you're like I got to read 10 books on budgeting before I ever create a budget, I got to read everything about debt pay, I've got to do all of this.

00:13:31.708 --> 00:13:33.166
You're just never going to get started.

00:13:33.166 --> 00:13:40.220
And so that keyword try really enabled me to just be like all right, well, as long as I'm trying, I'm making progress, let's see what happens.

00:13:40.220 --> 00:13:49.802
And so that kind of personal finance.

00:13:49.802 --> 00:13:59.951
People that I knew of at the time were like Dave Ramsey and Susie Orman, and this one saving grace was this blog called Millennial Revolution.

00:13:59.951 --> 00:14:00.471
Do you guys know?

00:14:01.402 --> 00:14:01.643
that.

00:14:01.903 --> 00:14:08.840
They did quit, like a millionaire, christy Chen, and I think it's Christy and Bryce, but they were I've heard of quit like a millionaire.

00:14:09.059 --> 00:14:10.942
Yes, so that's them.

00:14:10.942 --> 00:14:13.027
They had a blog called Millennial Revolution.

00:14:13.027 --> 00:14:14.068
I assume they still have it up.

00:14:14.068 --> 00:14:14.970
It's a great blog.

00:14:14.970 --> 00:14:17.575
But I was so jealous of their life.

00:14:17.575 --> 00:14:22.912
They were these tech people who had quit their jobs to retire early and travel full time.

00:14:22.912 --> 00:14:24.443
And I was like, how is that even possible?

00:14:24.443 --> 00:14:24.745
How do they?

00:14:24.745 --> 00:14:27.091
They're so lucky, lucky them, lucky them.

00:14:27.091 --> 00:14:29.703
And then finally, I was just like Chloe, what if you tried?

00:14:29.703 --> 00:14:35.951
Like, why are you just saying like, lucky them, why don't you just try, use this jealousy as a way to, you know, push you forward?

00:14:35.951 --> 00:14:39.466
And so again, I was just like all right, let's just figure this out.

00:14:39.466 --> 00:14:40.773
Let me focus first on.

00:14:40.773 --> 00:14:52.457
I thought my biggest problem was debt freedom, and so I focused on putting all of my extra income on debt for a while, and in the first year and a half I put down about $20,000 on my debt.

00:14:52.457 --> 00:14:54.162
I believe it was, or it might have been, 40,000.

00:14:54.162 --> 00:14:55.225
I can't remember off the top of my head.

00:14:55.285 --> 00:14:56.831
I think a recent post said 40.

00:14:56.831 --> 00:14:59.405
Yeah, it was 40 grand in like a year and a half.

00:14:59.505 --> 00:15:01.731
I was going so hard on paying off my debt.

00:15:01.731 --> 00:15:19.282
But my debt was a 3.54% interest rate a 3.54% interest rate, and so eventually, as I continued my education, I continued learning, I started to realize that that wasn't as much of a priority, as it was for me to start investing and getting invested as soon as possible.

00:15:19.282 --> 00:15:22.048
But I was terrified of investing.

00:15:22.048 --> 00:15:27.158
I had just gotten to this place where I was like, decent at budgeting, I was decent at paying off my debt and this idea of investing.

00:15:27.158 --> 00:15:39.823
It just felt like this thing that the dudes on wall street were able to do, not like the girl who studied English and Spanish in college and took logic instead of math, like that was not something that I thought I would ever be able to do.

00:15:39.823 --> 00:15:50.158
But as I continued to educate myself, I couldn't keep the blinders on anymore, and so it was in 2020, um, that that was the year I turned 30, I believe, or was it 2020?

00:15:50.158 --> 00:15:51.062
I don't know Time.

00:15:51.143 --> 00:15:59.600
Like I said, my brain isn't fully working today, but it was 2020 that I was like you know what, let me just try to figure this whole investing thing out.

00:15:59.600 --> 00:16:11.607
And, sure enough, that was the year that I really learned a lot about investing, started managing my own investments, started working on things like maxing out a 401k, maxing out an IRA and stuff like that, and I fell in love with it.

00:16:11.607 --> 00:16:18.828
I just thought it was so interesting and I realized it's more about learning a new language rather than learning the math, because the math is simple.

00:16:18.828 --> 00:16:21.181
The math is not something you really have to worry about that much.

00:16:21.181 --> 00:16:30.404
It's really about learning all the jargon, and that actually was a lot easier for me to learn than learning some complicated maths that, luckily, you don't have to.

00:16:30.404 --> 00:16:45.423
So, yeah, that's that's kind of the long winded, roundabout way of how I got into finance Um and then later on, I I got my certifications for to to be an educator Um, and 2021 is when I started sharing stuff on the internet to be like, hey, here's what I'm learning.

00:16:45.462 --> 00:16:47.951
What do you guys think you were going?

00:16:47.971 --> 00:16:52.970
to say I was going to say I say the same thing because, like, people always think that my job is so focused around math.

00:16:52.970 --> 00:16:59.025
Right, I'm like obviously it has a math component to it, but I was like 99% of the things that I do has nothing to do with math.

00:16:59.407 --> 00:16:59.989
Yeah, it's.

00:16:59.989 --> 00:17:05.644
It's so emotional A lot of it like there's like you're like you have to be a psychologist in ways or a therapist in ways.

00:17:05.644 --> 00:17:22.661
Um, you have to be able to, to really work on the mindset side of things, and that's with like everyone I don't know anybody who doesn't have money, stuff like that they have to work through mentally and then it is it's the language.

00:17:22.661 --> 00:17:26.133
It's the language of just learning all the jargon that's been used to gatekeep the finance industry from so many people.

00:17:26.192 --> 00:17:31.424
You had said earlier that when you were in college that you didn't feel as though you can go to your parents for money.

00:17:31.424 --> 00:17:38.402
Was that more or less like your parents didn't have the means to help you, or was it more of like you don't want to ask them for help?

00:17:38.442 --> 00:17:39.343
Both honestly.

00:17:39.343 --> 00:17:43.652
So I was parentified as a kid pretty early.

00:17:43.652 --> 00:18:01.867
I was the oldest daughter of five kids, and so it was like I knew the intimate struggles of finance that my parents were going through from the time that, like seven or eight years old, I knew that there was a constant struggle for money and even though there were years when things were fine, there were years that were not fine.

00:18:01.867 --> 00:18:10.946
In 2011, 2012, which was when I was really really struggling with my mental health and living paycheck to paycheck, and having to like sell my clothes and donate plasma to make rent.

00:18:10.946 --> 00:18:21.707
Um, I didn't want to talk to my parents about it because I my dad had been experiencing furloughs cause they were still recovering from the great financial crisis crisis of 2008.

00:18:21.707 --> 00:18:24.593
Um, I knew how expensive that was.

00:18:24.593 --> 00:18:28.220
I believe my brother had started some treatments at that time, too that were insanely expensive.

00:18:28.420 --> 00:18:39.242
So I was like, well, the last thing, I can be as a burden to my parents, and there's been even times where, like I, that's a whole other side story but there's been times where my life was literally in danger and I was like I can't.

00:18:39.242 --> 00:19:15.355
I can't tell my parents because they don't have the funds and I don't want to be a burden to them, and that's something like I'm still healing from and learning from and being like no, like you should have told your parents, you should have reached out, because, like, if my daughter was in danger, I would want to obviously do anything I could, even if it put me in so much debt, um, but uh, yeah, it was that not wanting to be a burden I mean, that's something I still very much struggle with is like never wanting to be a burden, which helps me in the financial way, because I'm very independent financially now, but something that I'm still very much learning, especially now that I'm with a healthy partner and we're getting ready to have kids next year and stuff like that.

00:19:15.980 --> 00:19:17.704
Yeah, that's so exciting.

00:19:17.704 --> 00:19:21.843
I know you've also been very open about being like I don't ever want kids.

00:19:21.843 --> 00:19:29.491
And now you're like madly in love and you are in a healthy, happy relationship and you're like I can't imagine not wanting a child with this person.

00:19:29.491 --> 00:19:30.884
So what is?

00:19:30.884 --> 00:19:36.784
Let's, let's pivot into, like, what are you doing to prepare for children financially?

00:19:36.924 --> 00:19:37.885
so much therapy.

00:19:37.885 --> 00:19:40.590
Yeah, good start.

00:19:40.590 --> 00:19:43.423
I know that's not financial and you gotta have money.

00:19:43.482 --> 00:19:47.356
No, I mean but it's, it's an important, it's way more.

00:19:47.417 --> 00:19:48.583
It's way more important than the money.

00:19:49.587 --> 00:20:05.164
You can have all the money in the world and if you're not in the right headspace you're gonna mess your kids up with nice things and and I do not want to mess my kids up and it's like I know I'm going to mess my kids up I don't want to mess my kids up in the same way that I was messed up Like I want the generational trauma to be a little less, you know, or significantly less.

00:20:05.164 --> 00:20:06.527
So a lot of therapy.

00:20:06.527 --> 00:20:10.289
Both my boyfriend and I are are big, big advocates of therapy.

00:20:10.289 --> 00:20:18.082
We want to get some couples therapy as well, cause it's we're both in this um odd boat and I think more and more millennials will probably fall into this boat of.

00:20:18.082 --> 00:20:20.667
Neither of us ever thought about having kids.

00:20:20.667 --> 00:20:22.573
It was never even on our radar.

00:20:22.573 --> 00:20:30.621
So it's weird to have this shift at in our mid thirties of like, oh no, now we've never wanted anything, it's a huge shift.

00:20:31.142 --> 00:20:39.207
Um, so that's something that we're both approaching of, just like we don't even know what questions to ask or what things we should be focusing on, or what are good parents supposed to do, like things like that.

00:20:39.207 --> 00:20:42.568
Um, and I know it's not going to save for three months of maternity leave.

00:20:42.568 --> 00:21:01.807
Since I'm self-employed, I want to make sure that I have that expenses there and luckily we're a dual income household.

00:21:01.807 --> 00:21:03.066
He makes great money as well.

00:21:03.066 --> 00:21:05.709
So even if I didn't have that, we would be fine.

00:21:05.709 --> 00:21:13.551
But I want to be comfy, I don't want to have to worry about that, and I ideally would like to have enough to have an extended maternity leave.

00:21:13.551 --> 00:21:16.008
So that's number one priority.

00:21:16.008 --> 00:21:26.250
Then the second priority is just saving money for medical expenses and things along those lines, and then, in addition to it, it's like we're going to get married, we're going to get our prenup, we're going to get all that stuff in place as well.

00:21:26.250 --> 00:21:28.703
You know the regular to do list.

00:21:29.685 --> 00:21:36.163
How does your partner feel that you're in this finance space, and was it awkward for him to have these conversations?

00:21:36.163 --> 00:21:39.191
Because obviously you're like we're talking about it all.

00:21:39.191 --> 00:21:42.626
I'm sure you're like show me all your numbers, log into your portals.

00:21:42.626 --> 00:21:46.942
Was he totally on board or what was the situation there?

00:21:47.084 --> 00:22:00.673
Yeah, I mean, it's an emotional thing for sure to like when we finally had the financial audit where, like we had talked about finances very early in our relationship, like I got a very good sense of where he was at financially.

00:22:00.673 --> 00:22:08.491
Um, but it wasn't until January that we're like all right, we actually need to like really go through this so that I know exactly where you're at.

00:22:08.491 --> 00:22:20.700
And like he's like oh man, it's like getting naked for the first time in front of somebody, but like in such a deep way where there's a lot of shame associated with it, especially if you're like Ooh, I may be good with my finances, but I'm not as good as you are with finances.

00:22:20.700 --> 00:22:23.450
And so, um, it was.

00:22:23.450 --> 00:22:31.688
We kind of talked about it and I, you know, I've had a lot of practice in coaching people, so I'm like listen, there is not going to be any shame here and there's not going to be any judgment.

00:22:31.688 --> 00:22:33.049
I understand that this is weird.

00:22:33.049 --> 00:22:36.474
If you want us, we can even hire another financial coach to do this with us.

00:22:36.914 --> 00:22:38.262
Um, but he was really open about it.

00:22:38.262 --> 00:22:44.266
And then, when we had our little financial audit afterwards he goes I feel so good, that's, that was so great.

00:22:44.266 --> 00:22:46.731
He was like I, all these fears that I had.

00:22:46.731 --> 00:22:50.325
The only reason those fears existed is because the light was turned off.

00:22:50.325 --> 00:22:57.560
And now that I've turned this light on and I'm looking at my financial house, it's so much less scary because actually we're doing pretty good.

00:22:57.560 --> 00:23:02.421
We're actually in a very good position and like so much farther ahead than he even expected us to be.

00:23:02.520 --> 00:23:04.085
So, um, so, yeah, it was.

00:23:04.085 --> 00:23:05.027
It was still even.

00:23:05.027 --> 00:23:07.451
I think too it's like the, the uh.

00:23:07.451 --> 00:23:18.691
He's well versed and knows a lot about finances and more than the average person, but he's also like dating somebody who's a literal expert, so it's like a gotta be an intimidating thing.

00:23:18.691 --> 00:23:29.542
So it was, it was pretty easy to give him that empathy and compassion of like we can take little tiny baby steps but, like, as long as we're making progress and we're being honest with people or being honest with each other, you know that's what really matters.

00:23:29.542 --> 00:23:31.145
And so, yeah, it's been.

00:23:31.145 --> 00:23:32.288
It's been relatively easy.

00:23:33.150 --> 00:23:37.304
I'm going to steal that analogy of the light on things, just so you know, as you should.

00:23:37.324 --> 00:23:48.944
It was such a good one I was literally, I was like dang, I need to talk to people, like that's what I need to tell people as well, because you, it really is just a dark room filled with stuff that you're like, ooh, I'm scared of what's in there.

00:23:48.944 --> 00:23:52.849
But then the second you turn the light on, you're like wait, this is so much easier, this is more manageable.

00:23:52.849 --> 00:23:53.751
Um for sure.

00:23:53.991 --> 00:23:55.835
It's not as bad as I thought it was.

00:23:56.035 --> 00:24:03.421
Yeah, or even if it is worse than what you thought it was, it's like okay, now I know Now, you know now you can put a plan in place.

00:24:03.421 --> 00:24:04.261
Yeah, exactly.

00:24:04.761 --> 00:24:05.942
What about the prenup?

00:24:05.942 --> 00:24:10.586
I mean, is it safe to assume that he expected you to want a prenup?

00:24:10.586 --> 00:24:13.108
Did you guys both come to that conclusion pretty quickly?

00:24:13.609 --> 00:24:17.232
So we were listening to have you heard of Two Hot Takes.

00:24:17.232 --> 00:24:35.553
It's like the yeah, so we love Two Hot Takes, we love like going over moral conundrums, and so we were listening to Two Hot Takes episode where I believe they were talking about prenups, and it was again like the role reversal or the traditional role reversal, where the woman was asking for a prenup and the dude was like, how dare, like a prenup?

00:24:35.553 --> 00:24:43.923
Um, and so I was like, huh, we should probably talk about this Right, like you know, we know, and it was early, we were like three months into our relationship and we already pretty much knew.

00:24:43.923 --> 00:24:46.967
Um, I was like, so what is your take on a prenup?

00:24:46.967 --> 00:24:49.630
I know, you know, I'm obviously pro prenups.

00:24:49.670 --> 00:24:51.833
You're not taking my money, oh yeah.

00:24:51.853 --> 00:24:58.584
And he was well, and he's got, you know, he's got generational wealth on his side, so it's like, you know, he's got things to protect as well.

00:24:58.584 --> 00:25:04.461
And uh, he was like, you know, I've never really thought about it before and I and he was like, but like, yeah, I'm fine with it.

00:25:04.461 --> 00:25:15.673
And when I explained to him and like he was already on board, he was already fine with it I was like, yeah, for me it's such a no brainer, because what people don't often understand is that you already have a prenup in place.

00:25:15.673 --> 00:25:18.396
You already have a prenup in place.

00:25:18.396 --> 00:25:19.662
Do you really think?

00:25:19.962 --> 00:25:23.051
You really think the government, your state government, has been batting a hundred?

00:25:23.051 --> 00:25:24.923
Like you really want to?

00:25:24.923 --> 00:25:29.693
You want to put your life and future into the hands of, uh, of your state?

00:25:29.693 --> 00:25:34.221
Like, probably not.

00:25:34.221 --> 00:25:34.961
Um, I'd rather have a say in it.

00:25:34.961 --> 00:26:01.559
And one of the things that I S I have said many times is that one of the most underrated benefits, I would say, of having a prenup and getting a prenup in place is that conversation that has to take place, the one of the most important conversations that you're ever going to have as a couple, and it's like seeing how that person responds to that type of conversation when things are high stakes, it's going to be so telling of what they would be like in other hard decisions, but also what they would be like in a divorce.

00:26:01.559 --> 00:26:09.674
If they are a nightmare in getting a prenup in place, imagine what a nightmare they're going to be if you got divorced.

00:26:09.839 --> 00:26:14.830
So it's like it's such an important test that I think everybody should go through yeah.

00:26:15.251 --> 00:26:15.633
Yeah.

00:26:15.779 --> 00:26:17.527
We just completely completed a post-nup.

00:26:17.527 --> 00:26:29.952
Yeah, we had um Aaron Thomas from a prenupscom and he completely changed our thought process on the whole thing, because before I had probably we probably the stereotypical thought on like a prenup.

00:26:29.952 --> 00:26:33.355
You're planning on your marriage to fail, you know, or like oh?

00:26:33.375 --> 00:26:35.316
you know we don't have a ton of assets.

00:26:35.336 --> 00:26:39.237
It really doesn't matter oh, I hear that all the time completely changed our thought process around that.

00:26:39.257 --> 00:26:42.683
But, like you said, every state already has a prenup, so why not write your own?

00:26:42.963 --> 00:26:45.130
yes, you gotta write your own rules yeah.

00:26:45.130 --> 00:26:47.762
And then people are like you know how much did the post-nup cost?

00:26:47.762 --> 00:26:48.123
You guys?

00:26:49.305 --> 00:26:55.333
uh, so we we did a deal because we had aaron on the podcast and I'm sponsoring the podcast.

00:26:55.333 --> 00:27:04.871
Nice, he does a flat fee and I think it's like if you're doing a regular prenup and you're not, you know, hardcore celebrity or whatever, I think it's $3,500.

00:27:04.912 --> 00:27:05.853
Oh, okay, that's what I would expect.

00:27:05.853 --> 00:27:10.410
Yeah, okay, yeah, and that's the thing too is like I feel like people should just work that into the budget.

00:27:16.440 --> 00:27:17.692
It's like thing too is like I feel like people should just work that into the budget, is like yeah, it's so important.

00:27:17.692 --> 00:27:18.449
And like if you don't do one, then get a post-nup.

00:27:18.449 --> 00:27:19.346
Like you know there are other ways.

00:27:19.346 --> 00:27:19.744
Yeah, what?

00:27:19.703 --> 00:27:20.584
almost nine years.

00:27:20.584 --> 00:27:21.201
How long have we been?

00:27:21.201 --> 00:27:21.721
Nine years in october.

00:27:21.681 --> 00:27:23.702
Okay, yeah, nine years married, 12 years together.

00:27:23.702 --> 00:27:31.988
I don't know yes and we obviously were like money nerds, and so we loved the process, we loved the conversation, we loved a.

00:27:31.988 --> 00:27:36.143
There was no, we didn't, there was nothing to uncover right.

00:27:36.222 --> 00:27:39.010
It was like Okay, what are the last four numbers of that account?

00:27:39.010 --> 00:27:41.242
Okay, type it into that, was it right?

00:27:41.242 --> 00:27:51.471
Yeah, but we did talk about things that technically aren't in the post snub, but it was almost like Aaron kind of called it, our like morality clause.

00:27:51.471 --> 00:27:59.352
So we talked a lot about our children, right, like in the event that we were to get divorced, how far can we live away from our children, right?

00:27:59.352 --> 00:28:00.114
What happens?

00:28:00.114 --> 00:28:01.305
We have this big house.

00:28:01.305 --> 00:28:03.507
What if you move out?

00:28:03.507 --> 00:28:06.028
How long is it going to take for you to move out?

00:28:06.028 --> 00:28:08.328
How long do we have for the accounts to separate?

00:28:08.328 --> 00:28:10.842
Now you have to go and buy new furniture.

00:28:10.842 --> 00:28:15.126
I want my kids to be in a safe space with a comfy bed and whatever.

00:28:15.126 --> 00:28:17.230
So now you need a budget for new furniture.

00:28:17.230 --> 00:28:27.906
I mean, we talked about all of that and we put things in place to say, all right, if you move out, you get $5,000 to furnish your new apartment, and that comes from the joint account.

00:28:28.099 --> 00:28:35.565
You know, we put things like that in place and it was just such a comforting conversation Like now we know.

00:28:35.565 --> 00:28:43.787
We know because we put the rules in place while we're in love, while we respect each other, while things are good, and I mean we loved it.

00:28:43.787 --> 00:28:45.986
But again, you know, you probably will love the process too.

00:28:45.986 --> 00:28:46.567
Oh, I'll love it.

00:28:46.587 --> 00:28:50.243
I'll love it, we both will Like it's something that we always talk about Like.

00:28:50.243 --> 00:28:55.034
At the end of the day, no matter like, I have every intention of being with Charles for the rest of my life.

00:28:55.034 --> 00:28:57.608
Charles has every intention of being with me for the rest of my life.

00:28:57.608 --> 00:29:01.585
But shit happens Like period, end of story, like people change.

00:29:01.585 --> 00:29:03.207
People get brain injuries.

00:29:03.207 --> 00:29:04.747
People like things happen.

00:29:04.940 --> 00:29:13.932
And so it's like you just want to make sure that you have a plan in place and like, oh my gosh, that would be such a peace of mind of being like people don't even realize those types of things that you can put in place.

00:29:13.992 --> 00:29:14.993
Yes, we didn't.

00:29:15.674 --> 00:29:23.472
I wouldn't even the level of detail Like you think of, like the high level stuff that goes into a prenup, and when it comes to like how would we actually handle this divorce?

00:29:23.472 --> 00:29:25.786
That would save so many people so much time.

00:29:25.786 --> 00:29:27.230
And I actually heard and money.

00:29:27.230 --> 00:29:27.852
Yes.

00:29:27.852 --> 00:29:40.008
And money, money, pain you know like having, because the fact that you're putting together a plan when you still love each other and you still respect each other, that is such an act of love.

00:29:40.409 --> 00:29:41.153
It is it?

00:29:41.273 --> 00:29:41.836
really is.

00:29:41.836 --> 00:29:43.442
It really is so we even talked about.

00:29:43.481 --> 00:30:09.614
You know if things are starting to get rocky, like how many marriage therapy sessions we had to go to, yeah, and down to the like the portion of OK, anybody can initiate a request for therapy at any time, and then we have a rule around that the person who requests the therapy has to present three therapists that are approved by your way.

00:30:09.614 --> 00:30:14.116
You know the other person can't say well, you chose a therapist that you liked and did it.

00:30:14.116 --> 00:30:17.506
You know like we wanted to get all that kind of bias and stuff out of the way.

00:30:17.506 --> 00:30:24.568
But again, now there's a rule in place within 30 days of requesting therapy we need to have our first schedule, our first scheduled session.

00:30:24.568 --> 00:30:25.551
I mean, I love that.

00:30:25.551 --> 00:30:27.624
Those are things that you can.

00:30:28.025 --> 00:30:34.942
You can have that conversation when love is high, respect is high, you're in a good space.

00:30:34.942 --> 00:30:40.713
You can't have that conversation when you're pissed at each other and you're like I'm done so, it's so valuable.

00:30:40.713 --> 00:30:47.444
We even said one thing that I was firm on, and it's not in the pre-nup or in the post-nup, because you can't put things about your kids in.

00:30:47.444 --> 00:30:49.371
So again, it's like a little addendum that we did.

00:30:49.371 --> 00:30:57.696
But I was like, if we were ever to get divorced, I'm not doing this, trading the kids in the middle of the week on three days off, two days.

00:30:57.696 --> 00:30:58.921
You have them every other third.

00:30:58.921 --> 00:30:59.702
I'm not doing it.

00:30:59.702 --> 00:31:01.468
It's one week on, one week off.

00:31:01.647 --> 00:31:02.589
Oh yeah, that's.

00:31:02.589 --> 00:31:16.742
Yeah, that's got to be so destabilizing for kids to like halfway through the week, I mean even for the last year and it's a scheduling nightmare.

00:31:16.742 --> 00:31:19.213
Scheduling nightmare, it's yeah, no, it's like for the last year, until we literally just moved in together this weekend.

00:31:19.213 --> 00:31:20.519
We I would just spend weekends at his place and it sucks.

00:31:20.519 --> 00:31:29.306
It's so annoying being like my stuff isn't here and like you're constantly forgetting things and I'm like it's so nice just to be in a space where all of our stuff is in one place.

00:31:29.326 --> 00:31:33.834
So so yeah, I can only imagine as kids but anyway, sorry to get on such the tangent.

00:31:33.854 --> 00:31:37.020
No, no, no, it's so good I definitely when we get the prenup I'm going to.

00:31:37.020 --> 00:31:38.765
You guys have an affiliate code or something.

00:31:39.528 --> 00:31:40.851
Yeah, yeah, we'll send you the link.

00:31:40.990 --> 00:31:42.545
Yeah, aaron was great.

00:31:42.545 --> 00:31:43.067
He's amazing.

00:31:43.067 --> 00:31:44.271
He was at FinCon.

00:31:47.603 --> 00:31:52.328
Oh nice, yeah, gives you things to think about that you wouldn't have thought about outside of the numbers.

00:31:52.449 --> 00:31:52.890
For sure.

00:31:52.930 --> 00:31:58.375
So it was really a great, great experience and so fast, I mean, you guys have your stuff together.

00:31:58.375 --> 00:32:03.570
We all had the flu at one point, but we would have been done under 30 days easy.

00:32:03.912 --> 00:32:04.333
Amazing.

00:32:04.700 --> 00:32:06.825
So absolutely can't recommend him enough.

00:32:06.825 --> 00:32:12.263
Let's pivot into your community that you've built and how you're helping.

00:32:12.263 --> 00:32:16.406
I mean, I would say it's specifically women or catered to women, right, okay.

00:32:16.767 --> 00:32:18.951
Yeah, Women and gay men oh.

00:32:19.112 --> 00:32:19.653
I love that.

00:32:19.653 --> 00:32:25.931
Talk to us about your community, what you offer, how you work with people.

00:32:25.931 --> 00:32:26.980
What does that all look like?

00:32:27.121 --> 00:32:31.608
Yeah, so I'm creating free content on the internet every single week.

00:32:31.608 --> 00:32:52.353
A lot of folks find me on Instagram or TikTok and, in terms of the way that I actually work with folks, I've got a community called my Lazy Investors, who are part of the Lazy Investors course, which is where we teach folks how to make their own decisions when it comes to their finances and really focusing on investing.

00:32:52.353 --> 00:32:58.461
So, teaching people things about their retirement accounts, teaching things about, like, what are the different types of investments out there?

00:32:58.461 --> 00:33:01.151
What are the pros and cons of each of these different types of investments?

00:33:01.151 --> 00:33:01.520
How are?

00:33:01.520 --> 00:33:03.065
How do you analyze an investment?

00:33:03.065 --> 00:33:10.509
How do you decide if it's right for your portfolio, all of that stuff, so that they can go from uh, I could never invest, I'm never going to be able to do that.

00:33:10.509 --> 00:33:15.480
To like, okay, I'm doing this, I'm like making my own portfolio and I'm figuring out these investments.

00:33:15.599 --> 00:33:26.951
So, um, that's my big thing as an educator is always to give people the education that they need to make their own decisions, um, but also to know when to reach out to a professional and to be like, hey, you know what I actually do want to hire a CFP for?

00:33:27.571 --> 00:33:35.955
Uh, you know, figuring out this backdoor Roth IRA, because those are really complicated, even though the internet makes it seem like they're the easiest thing ever and it's like, you know, having the language.

00:33:35.955 --> 00:33:47.943
I have tons of my students who most of my students, I will say once they finish the course or they finish the program, they do go on to manage their own investments and then occasionally we'll hire, like fee only, cfps for certain problems.

00:33:47.943 --> 00:33:57.019
But a lot, a lot of my older students who are, you know, maybe a little bit closer to retirement, will work with a financial professional who they see on a regular basis.

00:33:57.019 --> 00:33:59.799
But it's like now, the conversations that they're having are so much better.

00:33:59.799 --> 00:34:07.804
So, um, that's what I'm here for is educating folks so they can have better conversations and make um, make, make decisions um, now and in the future.

00:34:09.606 --> 00:34:12.413
Okay, chloe, talk to us about lazy investing.

00:34:12.413 --> 00:34:16.951
Like people listening, they're probably driving, walking the dog, they're not sitting in front of their computer.

00:34:16.951 --> 00:34:25.336
If they get anything from you today and they log off from this platform, how does one lazy invest?

00:34:25.336 --> 00:34:26.139
What do they need to do?

00:34:26.724 --> 00:34:41.588
So the whole theory behind lazy investing is this idea that most of us, when we think about investing, we think it means buying and selling individual stocks, getting the hot stock tip on what's going to go to the moon and getting in on it before everybody else does.

00:34:41.588 --> 00:34:52.797
But in reality, that's a whole lot more like gambling than it is true investing, where, instead of doing that, what we recommend is buy the whole market.

00:34:52.797 --> 00:35:04.865
Do not be focusing on buying an individual stock, because, unless that's like your gambling portfolio that you're okay with potentially losing, we want to be buying the entire stock market, and there's a lot of really easy ways that you can do it.

00:35:04.865 --> 00:35:07.954
My favorite way to do it is through something called index funds.

00:35:07.954 --> 00:35:11.311
So that's what we teach a lot of inside of the Lazy Investor's course.

00:35:11.311 --> 00:35:21.012
But index funds, essentially the way that you can think about it is, let's say, you were going to a seven 11 and you were like man, I'm craving something sweet, but I have no idea what I'm like.

00:35:21.012 --> 00:35:22.516
I have no idea what my craving is for.

00:35:22.516 --> 00:35:30.251
So you pick up a KitKat and you're like hopefully this fulfills my sweet craving, hopefully this is the thing that, like, I go home with and I'm satisfied with, it's a winner, right.

00:35:30.251 --> 00:35:35.947
But let's say, instead of doing that, you're like man, I really don't know what I'm craving.

00:35:35.947 --> 00:35:50.106
So instead I'm going to buy this big Halloween size bag of candy bars and surely, with the hundreds, if not thousands, of different candy bars inside of there, surely I will find a winner in here, surely there will be something that will actually fulfill my chocolate craving.

00:35:50.106 --> 00:35:53.291
That's what it's kind of like when you buy an index fund.

00:35:53.331 --> 00:36:01.298
When you're buying one chocolate bar, that's like buying one stock you hope that chocolate bar is the winner, you hope that's the one that's going to fulfill that that craving.

00:36:01.298 --> 00:36:07.371
But if you're like I don't really know, because most of us don't know, all of us don't know, I would say, of what's going to be the winner.

00:36:07.371 --> 00:36:12.056
Even the dudes on wall street, the finance bros, the Tik TOK bros, the TikTok bros they don't actually know.

00:36:12.056 --> 00:36:23.246
So instead it's smarter to just buy the whole bag of chocolates where you have hundreds, if not thousands, of different options inside, just like an index fund that's going to contain hundreds, if not thousands, of different stocks inside of it.

00:36:23.246 --> 00:36:32.755
So studies have shown over and over again that this is the much more effective way, even when I was going through my CFP coursework it was like in the I remember highlighting in my book about investments.

00:36:32.755 --> 00:36:39.148
It was like most people are better off with index funds because picking individual stocks and actively managed portfolios does not work.

00:36:39.710 --> 00:36:45.610
So I was going to say even more like index funds everybody, everybody and so um.

00:36:45.771 --> 00:36:54.297
So anyway, in terms of how do you do that, if you're like, all right, cool, I'll try this out, the way to do it with literally zero knowledge is one of two ways.

00:36:54.297 --> 00:37:04.228
So if you leave this podcast and you're like, all right, I'm going to spend 10 minutes setting up an index fund portfolio, one of the things that you can do that will take you less than 10 minutes is you can use something like a robo advisor.

00:37:04.228 --> 00:37:06.653
So Fidelity has a robo advisor.

00:37:06.653 --> 00:37:09.608
Betterment, I think, is like the most popular one out there.

00:37:09.608 --> 00:37:10.471
You've got Wealthfront.

00:37:10.471 --> 00:37:11.914
You've got a bunch of different options out there.

00:37:11.914 --> 00:37:15.844
Out there, you've got Wealthfront, you've got a bunch of different options out there.

00:37:15.844 --> 00:37:26.351
The idea behind a robo-advisor is essentially an algorithm that's acting as your financial advisor, where it's going to take some information from you and then it's going to kick back out a recommended portfolio for you.

00:37:26.351 --> 00:37:32.873
So it'll ask you like how old are you, when do you want to access this money, how comfortable are you with investing, et cetera, et cetera.

00:37:32.873 --> 00:37:37.550
It will then take all that information and then it will suggest, hey, here's a portfolio we think that you could do.

00:37:37.550 --> 00:37:44.153
We could set it up so that you're putting $100 a month away into this, or however much you want to, and it's automatically going to invest in these things.

00:37:45.244 --> 00:37:47.673
Most robo-advisors use index funds.

00:37:47.673 --> 00:37:50.152
Betterment, I know all index funds.

00:37:50.152 --> 00:37:56.507
Wealthfront, I believe, uses index funds.

00:37:56.507 --> 00:37:57.329
Fidelity uses index funds.

00:37:57.329 --> 00:38:02.367
So you're already doing the hard work of like okay, I'm invested, I've got diversified investments, I'm most likely in index funds.

00:38:02.367 --> 00:38:04.851
Boom, that's great, you will.

00:38:04.851 --> 00:38:10.688
The con is that it can only produce as good of data as you give it.

00:38:10.688 --> 00:38:17.710
So if it, if you're in there with it saying like, oh, I'm terrified to invest, it may put you in a way too conservative portfolio.

00:38:17.710 --> 00:38:19.315
So that doesn't mean you're done.

00:38:19.315 --> 00:38:26.349
You can get started with it, but you still need to continue your education because, again, bad data in, bad data out.

00:38:26.349 --> 00:38:27.853
So we've got to check to make sure.

00:38:27.853 --> 00:38:33.074
Like, once you've learned more about index funds, you can go back in and decide, okay, is this what I really want to be invested in or not?

00:38:33.074 --> 00:38:42.996
The other downside is you will be paying a fee, but most of the fees are like 0.25% versus something like working with a traditional advisor, which is usually around like 1% AUM.

00:38:42.996 --> 00:38:45.817
So that's one way to get started with zero knowledge.

00:38:46.280 --> 00:38:48.969
The other way to get started with zero knowledge is to use target date funds.

00:38:48.969 --> 00:38:51.614
Now, not all target date funds are created equal.

00:38:51.614 --> 00:38:54.099
Some of them have index funds inside of them, some of them don't.

00:38:54.099 --> 00:38:58.436
The target date funds that I have found to be the best are the Vanguard target date funds.

00:38:58.436 --> 00:39:10.677
Fidelity has some target date index funds available as well, but a target date fund essentially most of you who are listening if you have a 401k or a 403b, likely your 401k or 403b has you in a target date fund.

00:39:15.264 --> 00:39:25.853
This target date fund the idea behind it was a simple solution for people to be able who have no education on investing to be able to pick a fund that has the target date of when they want to retire or access the money.

00:39:25.853 --> 00:39:28.036
So you'll go into your 401k.

00:39:28.036 --> 00:39:30.952
You'll see, like Vanguard target date fund 2050.

00:39:30.952 --> 00:39:37.509
That means that portfolio is designed for somebody who is planning to retire in 2050.

00:39:37.509 --> 00:39:39.954
So you got to do that math of when do I want to retire.

00:39:39.954 --> 00:39:50.577
But once you know that date 2050, 2060, 2065, whatever it is that's what you're going to be looking for is like, okay, vanguard target date funds or Fidelity target date fund 2060, 2055.

00:39:50.577 --> 00:39:54.952
You'll pick the closest date to when you plan to retire.

00:39:54.952 --> 00:39:55.916
So they're not going to.

00:39:55.916 --> 00:39:57.489
They usually come in five-year increments.

00:39:57.869 --> 00:40:02.146
I would suggest going the farther date out rather than the closest date.

00:40:02.146 --> 00:40:05.996
Um, but that's going to give you a pre-made portfolio.

00:40:05.996 --> 00:40:12.184
Like I said a lot of the times, they'll have index funds in there, but you can just have that well-diversified portfolio.

00:40:12.184 --> 00:40:20.952
That again, you're not going to stop educating yourself because you may go into that target day fund and realize, oh, there's way too much international in here or there's way too much bonds inside of here.

00:40:21.293 --> 00:40:23.085
But at least you'll get started.

00:40:23.085 --> 00:40:26.735
And I am a huge proponent of get started and figure it out as you go.

00:40:26.735 --> 00:40:34.097
Because it's like the biggest thing is if you get into just the habit of putting a hundred bucks a month into a robo advisor, that's a lot easier to get you to.

00:40:34.097 --> 00:40:39.931
From a hundred bucks to a robo advisor every month to a thousand dollars into your own managed portfolio.

00:40:39.931 --> 00:40:45.432
Like that step, those steps in between those two, is a lot easier to get to than just the like I'm not an investor, I don't do anything.

00:40:45.432 --> 00:40:51.056
So it's like if we can get you into the habit of doing something and continuing your education, that's huge.

00:40:52.217 --> 00:40:52.998
Absolutely love that.

00:40:52.998 --> 00:41:00.641
I think that I mean we've talked about that on so many of our episodes as well and you know I always make the analogy of like this isn't Wolf of Wall Street, like we're not.

00:41:00.641 --> 00:41:21.896
We don't have screens in front of us, we're not yelling on the phone trying to buy individual anything like set it and forget it, automate it, build the muscle of investing something every single month, even if it's $5, $10, whatever you can do, and get started, because if every day that you don't start, you're absolutely missing out on growth.

00:41:22.925 --> 00:41:36.744
And even those individuals who are on social media and stuff like that, talking about, quote unquote, the more sexy stuff of the individual stocks, I can guarantee you that they probably the bulk of their portfolio is in that basic vanilla stuff that we talked about Boring, investing.

00:41:36.945 --> 00:41:38.434
Good investing is boring.

00:41:38.434 --> 00:41:45.132
Good investing is boring when I even when I have students who are like, okay, I have my index fund portfolio set up, but I kind of want to do some individual stocks.

00:41:45.132 --> 00:41:50.168
I'm like there's nothing wrong with having individual stocks inside of your portfolio, it's just you have to be willing.

00:41:50.168 --> 00:41:52.233
That's like money that you're willing to risk.

00:41:52.233 --> 00:41:59.400
It's not my whole retirement, it's like, ok, you know, I'm going to take 5% of my portfolio and put it into some individual funds.

00:41:59.581 --> 00:42:02.143
Or I'm going to take 2% of my portfolio and put it into some crypto.

00:42:02.143 --> 00:42:03.606
It's like those types of things.

00:42:03.606 --> 00:42:07.791
You just have to think about them a little bit differently before putting them into your portfolio.

00:42:07.851 --> 00:42:09.434
And the mix that you just said.

00:42:09.434 --> 00:42:18.353
Like the 5%, from a mathematical standpoint if it went to zero it's not going to tank your portfolio, but if it does hit, then it can exponentially increase it.

00:42:18.735 --> 00:42:25.635
Exactly, and it's like that's the stuff that you're willing to gamble with, but it's like you have to ask yourself what percent am I willing to gamble with?

00:42:25.635 --> 00:42:27.251
What percent am I willing to risk?

00:42:28.456 --> 00:42:41.617
Absolutely yeah, you're really big on the education, the education piece is huge, because I'm not saying obviously the average individual needs to be an expert, but they do need to have some base level of financial literacy so that they can understand.

00:42:41.617 --> 00:42:44.961
Hey, in this scenario, is this good for me or is this not good for me?

00:42:44.961 --> 00:42:50.458
Because with so much information out there on the Internet, it's great that the information is out there, but now it's information overload.

00:42:50.605 --> 00:42:57.284
Confusing there, but now it's information overload confusing and then also it's like who's actually providing good information and then actually, as a good information, what's applicable to my situation?

00:42:57.284 --> 00:43:03.887
Because I mean, I think even sometimes in scenarios where people think that they should be getting, you know, good advice, they're not.

00:43:03.887 --> 00:43:04.108
Like.

00:43:04.108 --> 00:43:10.429
I had a client who was like 30 years old and through her work they had her in like a fixed deferred annuity.

00:43:10.429 --> 00:43:12.572
Yes, yes, see the face.

00:43:14.036 --> 00:43:15.778
For those of you listening 30.

00:43:16.425 --> 00:43:17.530
Oh my gosh.

00:43:18.188 --> 00:43:26.791
And then that's the stuff that gives financial professionals a bad reputation, because it's like you're scamming or selling me things that I don't need.

00:43:26.831 --> 00:43:27.894
They want to make the commission.

00:43:27.894 --> 00:43:37.512
She was spending like $3,000 a year into this thing, and I'm like you as like this person, I'm not going to say they did terrible but they did terrible.

00:43:37.773 --> 00:43:38.434
Yeah, yeah Well.

00:43:38.434 --> 00:43:50.911
And it's crazy Cause like when I have folks who go through the community or go through the program and then they go look at what their financial advisor is doing, they're like, holy crap, I was paying 8% fees or something crazy like that, or they had me all in bonds or all of it was sitting in cash.

00:43:50.911 --> 00:43:53.617
I've had somebody who I've had financial advisor.

00:43:53.617 --> 00:43:56.702
I have had somebody who their financial advisor never invested their money.

00:43:56.722 --> 00:44:02.922
I've also had somebody who was uh, yeah, I've had somebody who was with a financial advisor for like five years.

00:44:02.922 --> 00:44:08.576
He forgot to toggle on reinvest dividends, so she had over $20,000 sitting in cash.

00:44:08.576 --> 00:44:09.338
So it's like.

00:44:09.338 --> 00:44:19.000
This is the importance of the education of, at the very minimum, the basics, because you just don't know if your financial professional is actually a good one or not.

00:44:19.000 --> 00:44:22.619
And unfortunately, the word financial advisor, it's not regulated.

00:44:22.619 --> 00:44:31.615
So it's like an insurance salesman can say I'm a financial advisor and yet they're just there to sell you insurance products and they actually don't know anything about Roth IRAs or index funds, you know.

00:44:31.615 --> 00:44:38.507
So it's it's.

00:44:38.507 --> 00:44:46.344
I'm deeply passionate about the education as well, because it's just like even if you think you are with the best financial advisor because he's been with your family for 20 years and your parents are doing fine, you still want to know if they're making decisions that are right for you or not?

00:44:46.525 --> 00:44:57.101
or at least be able to flag something and to also understand what they tell you like, or to ask the right question, Exactly Because so many times you'll ask something and then they just respond to you with a bunch of jargon.

00:44:57.101 --> 00:45:01.411
You're like oh, I'm stupid, I don't know these answers, so I'm just not going to ask anything.

00:45:01.452 --> 00:45:06.668
You know and so it's like, it's like you need and then you end up with $20,000 sitting in cash and not invested Exactly.

00:45:06.867 --> 00:45:08.610
My number one, red.

00:45:08.610 --> 00:45:24.615
Anytime you're starting to maybe interview for a financial advisor, whatever it may be, if that advisor does not lead with asking you a ton of questions and leads with oh, you should be in this or you should be in that, turn the other way, yep, like anytime somebody asks me a question, I'm like even just like friends will ask me a question.

00:45:24.625 --> 00:45:33.733
I was like well, I got like 15 questions to ask you first 100% and, like I feel like on the internet, in the internet world, people get frustrated when they ask a question and they want a direct answer.

00:45:33.733 --> 00:45:36.878
But, like usually, my response is it depends, it depends.

00:45:36.918 --> 00:45:38.561
It's my number one response.

00:45:39.364 --> 00:45:40.467
It's his number one answer.

00:45:40.768 --> 00:45:43.275
It, it cause it always, depends it always.

00:45:43.275 --> 00:45:46.431
There are very few things in personal finance that's a hundred percent.

00:45:46.431 --> 00:45:47.594
No, you know like that's.

00:45:47.594 --> 00:45:49.686
I can't think of anything off the top of my head.

00:45:50.208 --> 00:45:59.369
Um, although some of the permanent life insurance policies are pretty high up there I give people like I said, like if you ever hear the person say, guaranteed that is like a no-no, within finance.

00:45:59.369 --> 00:46:01.179
So they say guaranteed for the most part.

00:46:01.199 --> 00:46:09.889
You need to turn around, walk the other way yeah, that and like um, if they're avoiding your questions or like they get mad at you for asking they won't tell you, or they won't tell you how they get paid.

00:46:09.889 --> 00:46:13.056
I said like yeah, people%, you can ask me anytime you want how I get paid.

00:46:13.195 --> 00:46:17.987
Have you ever heard somebody saying like yeah, my advisor said that I'm not paying any fees, I'm like girl.

00:46:18.369 --> 00:46:19.474
I hear that all the time.

00:46:20.806 --> 00:46:23.795
Like no, he definitely is getting paid, you just don't know where they're coming from.

00:46:25.027 --> 00:46:31.751
But your car insurance person is getting a commission you know, I mean somebody is making money somehow.

00:46:31.751 --> 00:46:35.097
Whether you recognize that or not, people are getting paid.

00:46:35.097 --> 00:46:38.835
So if you don't feel comfortable asking, you shouldn't be working with that person.

00:46:38.835 --> 00:46:47.012
And I mean people know that they can ask Brandon like hey, well, from this product versus this product, how much are you making?

00:46:47.425 --> 00:46:51.867
And I can tell you any of the things that Brandon's putting in place are not keeping our lights on for our family.

00:46:51.867 --> 00:46:52.507
You know what I mean.

00:46:52.507 --> 00:46:54.291
Like because he's not a scammy.

00:46:54.291 --> 00:46:56.434
Human Right, right, right.

00:46:56.494 --> 00:47:05.684
Yeah, yeah, oh my gosh, wow, how Well.

00:47:05.704 --> 00:47:13.347
And then what's really sad is that those people who are being duped right by a financial professional financial professional might then be completely resistant to reaching out when they actually do need to work with somebody.

00:47:13.347 --> 00:47:24.139
Good, when it comes to life insurance, disability insurance, right, putting pieces of that financial portfolio together that really should still be there.

00:47:24.139 --> 00:47:28.235
But then they've been scarred and they feel like ugh, icky, you know.

00:47:28.275 --> 00:47:32.414
Yeah, I mean I don't blame them, though, because the financial services industry has done a terrible job.

00:47:32.414 --> 00:47:35.333
Yeah, as a whole, we have ourselves to blame.

00:47:35.333 --> 00:47:37.713
I say we because I'm in it, you're in it.

00:47:37.713 --> 00:47:39.556
I'm not part of that group.

00:47:39.556 --> 00:47:40.625
You're not part of that group.

00:47:41.608 --> 00:47:42.431
I mean, you're an educator.

00:47:42.431 --> 00:47:47.797
At the end of the day, you're doing the good work of putting forward the information that you believe in.

00:47:47.797 --> 00:48:00.574
And it's hard because we're not only battling against just a general lack of knowledge, we're also battling against the people who are actively scamming people, and I think we see that, at least personally in my space.

00:48:00.574 --> 00:48:18.478
I see it most with IULs, vuls, things along those lines, where people are just talking about these like golden goose and like they're so effective at getting that information out on TikTok and Instagram and like there are huge players in that industry, and it's like we're not just working with oh, let me teach a blank slate.

00:48:18.478 --> 00:48:21.092
No, no, no, no one is a blank slate when it comes to money.

00:48:21.092 --> 00:48:30.277
And it's like you first have so much misinformation that you have to wade through to get to them, but then you also have all the mental stuff too.

00:48:30.277 --> 00:48:34.630
So it's important work and we will be employed for a very long time.

00:48:34.630 --> 00:48:36.672
I think yes.

00:48:38.014 --> 00:48:41.498
So, chloe, this is now your full-time business, right?

00:48:41.498 --> 00:48:48.561
Talk to us about entrepreneurship kind of highs, lows, lessons learned, you know.

00:48:48.561 --> 00:48:57.954
For anybody listening who maybe has a handle on investing and their portfolio but is now thinking, okay, maybe I can start my own business, what would you say to them?

00:48:59.666 --> 00:49:00.389
That's a good question.

00:49:02.226 --> 00:49:03.070
Still figuring it out.

00:49:03.070 --> 00:49:04.887
Oh yeah, that's a good question.

00:49:05.188 --> 00:49:08.052
I will tell you so.

00:49:08.052 --> 00:49:14.393
I've been full-time for almost four years now and been running Clobear for about five years.

00:49:14.393 --> 00:49:16.931
I started started Clobert money coach in 2021.

00:49:16.931 --> 00:49:24.936
And I started a blog way back in like 2018 or 2017, where I was talking about like mental health and relationships and stuff like that.

00:49:24.936 --> 00:49:31.472
I would say that entrepreneurship is not for everyone.

00:49:31.472 --> 00:49:39.065
It's very difficult at times and the internet makes it seem like it's really really easy and really really glamorous.

00:49:39.065 --> 00:49:41.291
Yeah, so what?

00:49:41.552 --> 00:49:54.880
My biggest piece of advice to want to be, want to be self employers or self employed, want to be entrepreneurs, want to be, start a small business, start a side hustle is always, always, always, test it first.

00:49:54.880 --> 00:50:01.717
Do not have this big, bold idea that you're going to quit your job to pursue from ground one.

00:50:01.717 --> 00:50:13.413
Like you need to be doing the thing while you have a paycheck coming in, or else you're going to make bad decisions, you're going to be stressed all the time and you're going to run out of money.

00:50:13.413 --> 00:50:19.061
And that's my biggest piece of advice is like try it out before you decide to just jump ship.

00:50:19.061 --> 00:50:25.954
For me, I made sure I had a year emergency fund and I had been making what I needed to make for at least six months before I jump ship.

00:50:25.954 --> 00:50:32.340
But that's the big one is like, if you want to enjoy the experience, if you want to be in it for a long time, you gotta.

00:50:32.340 --> 00:50:36.893
You gotta kind of build, build a little bit slower in the beginning to start testing it out.

00:50:36.893 --> 00:50:40.255
So, um, and if not, like, I understand some people, some circumstances.

00:50:40.255 --> 00:50:41.931
They're like, I'm working 14 hours a day.

00:50:41.931 --> 00:50:46.143
There's literally no way for me to do this on the side, but I know I need to do it.

00:50:46.143 --> 00:50:54.335
Okay, if that's the case, we gotta be working on building a nice buffer fund for you that you could live off of that buffer for six months while you're getting this off of the ground.

00:50:54.335 --> 00:50:56.498
So, um, that's my biggest piece of advice.

00:50:56.938 --> 00:51:00.369
Um, but I think also, gosh, there's so many things.

00:51:00.369 --> 00:51:04.788
Um, I've just started business coaching as well, so there's a lot of things that are top of mind.

00:51:04.788 --> 00:51:19.306
Um, but I think, be willing to try things, like, be willing to try things Like.

00:51:19.306 --> 00:51:24.925
I feel like at least 50% of what I do, if not more, is testing things and seeing if it works or not, and almost all of your tests are going to fail, and that's normal.

00:51:24.925 --> 00:51:38.347
But then you hit one thing that works really, really well and you add it into your rotation of whatever it is that you're doing, whether that's a content piece, whether that's a process, whether that's a funnel, whatever it is, whether it's a simple email that works really well for you.

00:51:38.347 --> 00:51:47.711
You have to be flexible to try new things and be willing to fail, and the faster you can do that, the faster you're going to find success.

00:51:47.711 --> 00:51:48.974
Is like that's.

00:51:48.974 --> 00:51:52.572
It's truly your ability to test things and your ability to to adapt quickly.

00:51:53.233 --> 00:51:53.856
Fail fast.

00:51:53.856 --> 00:51:54.516
I love that.

00:51:54.516 --> 00:51:55.867
Fail fast, fail fast.

00:51:56.068 --> 00:51:56.990
I didn't say that first.

00:51:56.990 --> 00:51:59.827
I know somebody else said that, but it is so true it's so true.

00:52:00.208 --> 00:52:02.193
Okay, what about in relationships?

00:52:02.193 --> 00:52:10.974
If you had to put like a ladies, never do this in a relationship and I know we have limited time, but what would you?

00:52:11.054 --> 00:52:13.217
say oh dang.

00:52:13.217 --> 00:52:21.369
Um, I love that you guys are like or is there any topics that we should avoid?

00:52:21.369 --> 00:52:22.092
I'm like no, not at all, bring it.

00:52:22.092 --> 00:52:23.900
Um, I love that you're asking about this, my, from a financial perspective.

00:52:23.900 --> 00:52:33.429
And it's crazy because when I share these stories about what have happened to me in past relationships, um, I am shocked by the overwhelming amount of comments that are like this happened to me too.

00:52:33.429 --> 00:52:37.295
Like I did this too and I felt so stupid and I felt so ashamed.

00:52:38.056 --> 00:52:47.675
Um, my biggest piece of advice is to not invest in someone to the extent that I like.

00:52:47.675 --> 00:52:51.045
Do not be investing into someone you barely know.

00:52:51.045 --> 00:53:12.929
Like, if you are putting forth all the money for all of the dates, if you are buying them expensive gifts, if you are trying to show your love through money which is something I a hundred percent did from the time that I was a little kid um, you need to be asking yourself if this is somebody who you are already in a committed relationship, who is giving you the same energy back, or not.

00:53:12.929 --> 00:53:28.445
And it's hard to not have your love goggles on and to be like oh no, you know, he just doesn't have a job and hasn't had a job for the six months because he's trying so hard at this thing and he's yeah, he's not willing to take these jobs because he's looking for the right thing.

00:53:28.445 --> 00:53:32.851
You have to ask yourself what are the excuses that I'm telling myself and how is this impacting me?

00:53:32.851 --> 00:53:40.875
I can't tell you how many women I've heard who are like, yeah, I pay the rent and he's just like video games at home and cause he's looking for a job?

00:53:40.875 --> 00:53:57.744
Or, um, you know, he, every time I build something, he tears it back down Like I, I save up an emergency fund and he spends it on no-transcript.

00:53:57.744 --> 00:54:06.135
So for me, that showed up in a lot of ways of being willing to front bills, being willing to let them do stuff like I had no business letting people do.

00:54:07.846 --> 00:54:12.277
And with this relationship that I'm in now, I was working with a love coach, which I think you guys know.

00:54:12.277 --> 00:54:20.327
One of the biggest things that I'm in now.

00:54:20.327 --> 00:54:21.650
I was working with a love coach, which I think you guys know.

00:54:21.650 --> 00:54:24.259
Um, one of the biggest things that I had to work on was trying to not show my love through my money and it was like to me.

00:54:24.259 --> 00:54:25.382
My subconscious belief was like well, this is my value.

00:54:25.382 --> 00:54:26.525
I'm valuable because this is.

00:54:26.525 --> 00:54:28.771
What I bring to the table is that I am a provider.

00:54:28.771 --> 00:55:08.556
I am somebody who can take care of people and can spend money on people, and what I wanted, though, was somebody who was willing to invest in me in the same way and wasn't just looking at me as a bank account or somebody who can fund their lifestyle or, you know, be the provider, and I wanted to be provided for, too, on an emotional level and on at least an equal footing situation, but it was so hard for me to not constantly offer to pay for everything with Charles that, even on the first date, when I showed up, I was like five minutes late, and I instantly was like oh, I was like I'll pay, and I shoved myself in front of him and I put my card down and I told my love coach about it.

00:55:08.597 --> 00:55:10.664
She's like Chloe, what were you doing?

00:55:10.664 --> 00:55:22.416
We're trying to stop this pattern, and like, if you're constantly showing that they don't have to do anything and you're willing to do all of this emotional labor and financial labor and all of this stuff like this is the type of person you're going to attract.

00:55:22.416 --> 00:55:29.112
You're going to keep attracting people who don't have to put anything in because you're busy doing it all, and so I just had open conversations with him.

00:55:29.112 --> 00:55:42.722
At the very beginning I was like, all right, so this is something I'm working on is not paying for everything all of the time, because there's this deeply rooted belief in me that that is where my value is and I'm trying to not like I'm trying to change that story.

00:55:42.722 --> 00:55:46.434
And so we just talked about it and like he was like all right, cool, I'm totally happy to pay for dates.

00:55:46.434 --> 00:55:48.436
And I was like that's weird, I didn't know.

00:55:48.896 --> 00:56:12.952
I didn't know that was a thing like that people are okay with that and it was still uncomfortable, so, yeah, um, so you know, just really trying to keep keep reality at the focus, which is something that I struggled with for a really long time and seeing if somebody is investing in you in the same way that you're investing in them I think women often fall in love with the potential of the person instead of the reality that the person is showing.

00:56:12.972 --> 00:56:14.856
don't, don't do this, it's so hard.

00:56:15.077 --> 00:56:16.670
I know it's so hard.

00:56:16.670 --> 00:56:31.476
It's like you're like that was me to a T and it's like it's so hard to look at reality and to be like I was 100%, I was the chooser, I was the one putting myself in those situations over and over again and I had this mentality of like oh, no one shows up for me.

00:56:31.476 --> 00:56:32.416
No, mentality of like, oh, no one shows up for me.

00:56:32.416 --> 00:56:32.556
No one.

00:56:32.556 --> 00:56:42.487
No, I like I just keep picking all these loser men, or all these loser men are attracted to me, and what I didn't realize is like I was picking that over and over again, I was allowing that over and over again, I was repeating the same patterns over and over again.

00:56:42.487 --> 00:56:49.289
So if you find yourself in that position and can afford it, a love coach, a good one, it sounds so silly, oh my God.

00:56:49.771 --> 00:56:50.771
It sounds so silly.

00:56:50.771 --> 00:56:52.853
When I heard it I was like that sounds like a scam.

00:56:52.853 --> 00:57:06.485
And then I worked with the most amazing one, and then I found charles and I love of your life and here you are like, and he was like the fourth date that I went on, which is insane I feel like I have the most boring dating life evidently leading up to you because, like I mean compared to I don't have any crazy stories

00:57:07.766 --> 00:57:20.606
but I have an exceptional number of crazy stories from a lot of trauma in my past that I didn't know I had, and so it wasn't until I, like, was able to work through a lot of that stuff and I was like, why am I attracting all this chaos?

00:57:20.606 --> 00:57:30.487
So yeah, Charles is the same way, though he's like you look at his, he's like had like three relationships and all of them were not toxic at all and I'm like, wow, what is that like?

00:57:30.829 --> 00:57:33.476
Yeah, like tell me more, tell me more.

00:57:33.476 --> 00:57:34.219
It's crazy.

00:57:34.244 --> 00:57:35.239
People exist like that.

00:57:36.244 --> 00:57:36.766
But I think it's.

00:57:36.766 --> 00:57:50.994
I mean, I think it's in part to why you've built the community that you've built, because you show up so authentically and so transparent and like, hey, ladies, here's how I lost $50,000 and here's how I tanked my credit score.

00:57:50.994 --> 00:57:59.572
And oh yeah, he came back to me a second time and I was like sure I'll invest again, even though the first three businesses failed, because this time it's gotta work.

00:57:59.572 --> 00:58:09.155
I mean, you just show up authentic and truthful, and I think you know, especially the internet world is craving that.

00:58:09.155 --> 00:58:14.565
And so you've just you do such a wonderful job and we're so happy that we got to chat with you today.

00:58:15.007 --> 00:58:18.376
I know you've talked about a lot of things and we kind of ended on the relationship thing.

00:58:18.376 --> 00:58:26.800
If you could leave our audience with a financial thought of like, what do you want to leave our audience with when it comes to money?

00:58:27.302 --> 00:58:29.250
What's a thought it's so much easier than you think.

00:58:29.250 --> 00:58:39.927
Like becoming successful with your finances, becoming somebody who is building wealth actively and getting their first hundred K and their second hundred K and on their way to their first million.

00:58:39.927 --> 00:58:42.697
It's not as difficult as you think.

00:58:42.697 --> 00:58:50.842
Um, you do not have to do complicated strategies or, um you know, become an expert in the personal finance world.

00:58:50.842 --> 00:58:58.775
You can very easily build wealth, even if you're making mistakes or you've made massive mistakes, like giving an ex $50,000, you can overcome.

00:58:58.775 --> 00:59:06.052
It's just about learning a new language and setting yourself up for small changes that make a big impact over time.

00:59:06.052 --> 00:59:18.625
I think that a lot of people don't get started because they're so overwhelmed, because there's so much information out there, but remind yourself that dumber people than you have figured it out before, because, oh my gosh, there's a lot of dumb people out there who are?

00:59:18.764 --> 00:59:22.152
very wealthy and I promise you you could do it too.

00:59:23.436 --> 00:59:24.657
We say the same thing about parenting.

00:59:25.286 --> 00:59:26.548
Yes, you'll be just fine.

00:59:26.548 --> 00:59:27.391
You'll be just fine.

00:59:27.391 --> 00:59:46.592
The fact that you're even thinking about wanting to undo generational trauma and the fact that you're already in therapy and you're I mean just all the things, your leaps and bounds ahead and I, we always say this we're like, the fact that we're stressing about all of it means that we're good parents because good parents are exhausting.

00:59:47.996 --> 00:59:50.061
Oh my gosh, yeah, that's wild to think about.

00:59:50.061 --> 00:59:57.514
Yeah that's what I keep reminding myself of that, too is like I'm going to do my best and I'm going to be present and I'm doing what I can.

00:59:57.764 --> 00:59:58.829
So we'll see what happens.

00:59:58.829 --> 01:00:00.791
Oh well, we are so rooting for you.

01:00:00.791 --> 01:00:02.693
We can't wait to see that part of the journey.

01:00:02.693 --> 01:00:06.135
Chloe, thank you for being with us on the Sugar Daddy podcast.

01:00:06.135 --> 01:00:07.369
We so appreciate you.

01:00:07.429 --> 01:00:08.172
Thanks for having me.

01:00:14.806 --> 01:00:17.231
It was delightful talking to you, you guys, thanks.

01:00:17.813 --> 01:00:21.704
Don't forget Benjamin Franklin said, an investment in knowledge pays the best interest you just got paid Until next time.

01:00:28.827 --> 01:00:30.534
Thanks for listening to today's episode.

01:00:30.534 --> 01:00:33.445
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01:00:33.445 --> 01:00:41.574
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01:00:41.574 --> 01:00:45.956
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01:00:45.956 --> 01:00:57.155
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01:00:57.925 --> 01:01:00.233
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01:01:00.233 --> 01:01:03.610
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01:01:03.610 --> 01:01:11.132
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